For many married men, coming out (even to just oneself) as gay or bisexual happens later in life, but not always. As the times change this dynamic will probably change too. Sometimes circumstances happen earlier in life or the "outing" may be forced upon us by someone, like a spouse. I always knew something was a little different about me, but I was unable or unwilling to truly identify it. As I got older I simply put any thoughts or feelings about men aside, as if I put them in a little box and kept them separate from what I thought of as the "real" me. I still seemed happily married and also felt I had this dual identity.

The internet is quite a gateway. Intellectually I have seen most everything on the web, emotionally I am naive and inexperienced. The gay scene and community are new to me. I am thankful for the support of this group. We share a unique perspective in the gay community. These men have the same themes and concerns that I do about family. I’m not looking at my marriage with regret. I come to this group for important validation and the support to help my marriage. And if it doesn’t work out, they will help listen to that too.

Words from a GbMMS member...
"In my judgmental pre honest life, I watched the depictions of Gay Pride on the National News, with disgust. Certainly this most appalling stereotypical portrayal of homosexual life styles was not what I wanted to believe was represented who I longed to be. I attended Pride in 2005, for the first time, expecting a flagrant display of lewdness. I walked onto Broadway and something so much bigger than who and what I was , surrounded and transported me to a place I had never been. For the first time in my cognitive existence, I was normal. There was no need to monitor my behavior and furtively look to see who was judging me. I was surrounded with people like me. For the first time in cognitive memory I belonged and I felt safe. I was also very aware that a presence, bigger than I could explain, the One who created me as a beloved and perfect child, the One who was well pleased with this child, was there, with me, with us all and the sense of love was palpable. The feeling of oneness with the Universe has never left me. I am convinced I am who and what I was always destined to be. I no longer run from or criticize the creative mastery of the Infinite Father/Mother God of us all."

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